What Happens Next?
These past few months have been a bit of a roller coaster for me….and it’s going to continue to be.
This spring, I had the opportunity to participate in two concerts for two composer friends of mine, Just when you thought that I was going to have a year full of nothing….I got two premieres! I felt so thankful to have the opportunity to perform at all, considering there wasn’t much waiting for me at home.
During this time, I made the decision to move to New York City. This came as a very big choice for many reasons.
1. I knew that I couldn’t continue to have a fulfilling music career in Indiana
2. I knew that I couldn’t find the life that I wanted in Indianapolis
3. I knew that life was too short, and that I was in the perfect place to make this kind of decision
Once I made this choice, I started setting the plans in motion. Now, everything is finalized, and my mind is going in about a million directions. I’m full of excitement, fear, sadness…anything you could possibly think of. My priority at the moment is to enjoy the time that I have left with my loved ones.
During the spring, after my concert in April, I decided to take some much needed time off. This is the first time in my singing life that I do not have any performances in the horizon. The motivation tends to go down the tubes when you feel like you have nothing to work towards. Also, I just need to take a break and actually be a normal person for once. It’s been great not having to worry about lessons, finding accompanists, making copies, etc. And, I’ve been able to take my free time and apply it towards my family and friends.
I started to worry a bit, because of how much I enjoyed taking this time away from singing. However….I knew the time would come…..that I would be BORED OUT OF MY MIND. Today, I had most of the afternoon off, and I spent it watching tv and checking out facebook. That’s what I do during most of my time off right now, besides spending time with my friends, and sorting through my belongings.
I’ve always struggled with what kind of a life that I want to have, and whether or not a singing career can be a part of that. I also struggle with whether or not I will even be successful enough to have the choice. Let’s just say, I haven’t been overwhelmed with jobs for a long time. I went from having a lot of success and promise to wondering if I even belong in the business.
With all of this, I have to believe that we all have a place in this world, and that if I keep moving, I’ll find the career that I want. I think the best way to sum this up is Kate Finneran’s Tony Award acceptance speech, which I’ve included above this post.
Life is such an amazing journey, and I believe we can do whatever we set our hearts to.
Very cliche, but very true.
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